I am sitting on a patio table out by the pool right now.  My son is playing in the water with a friend.  Actually the girl is my coworker's daughter, but she and my son have played together off and on since they were both really little, so they know each other.  My coworker had to work today and didn't have another person to watch her daughter, so I said I would watch her.  The kids are having a good time.  I am sitting here relaxing and enjoying the day.  It is warm without being hot, and there is a nice breeze off and on.  I see another mom over on the opposite side who seems to be doing her homework or something...she has a binder and a notebook and pen, pencil, etc.  Good place to study and enjoy the day.  Of course she is all laid out in the sun in her bathing suit, but that is not what I usually do.  I am in the shade with jeans and a tanktop!  I also can hardly see my computer screen at all because of the glare off the water, so if I have lots of misspelled words, that is why!

I actually have listened to the advice received here in comments, as well as some other friends who have given me their opinion on the church guy.  I am being careful and I am definitely cutting him out.  He has been much less present since I talked to him at church and told him to back off.  He has still been texting, but not even close to the same amount, and when I ignore them, he doesn't continue to send even more.  Of course it has only been a couple of days, so we'll see how that progresses.  But I am being careful and keeping an eye on it.  I do believe in trusting your instincts, and I put a lot of stock into that.  There is actually a great book on that topic that I've read called The Gift of Fear.  It is all about that very subject...trusting your instincts to survive dangerous, or potentially dangerous situations.  I do listen to my instincts, and I am not wanting anything to do with this guy.  Last night there was an event that had been organized through the church, where a whole bunch of us got together and went to package food and things for the homeless.  I made sure to get placed in a separate room from him.  I bagged up food bags with another man(married) and 3 or 4 young kids.  It was a lot of fun, and I was relieved not to be in the same group.  As far as him being stalker material...he sure seems to fit the bill.  I wonder if something inside of him just would have went a little haywire when his wife of 18 years divorced him, or what happened there.  I do know that he is a very controlling person, and a controlling parent.  Perhaps that kind of thing is in your personality from the time you are young, and then a traumatic event just triggers it, and you aren't quite right after that?  I don't know, but either way, I am certainly being careful.  Another interesting thing I overheard last night during the food packaging thing, was when the stalker's daughter started talking about her latest crush...she mentioned that he has been kind of ignoring her at school, and while she knows that boys will do that to see if a girl will chase after them, she feels like that just makes her mad, because she wants to have a guy who will not ever ignore her and will ALWAYS be available to her at all times.  So, whatever the personality trait is, it certainly seems to run in the family.

My friend who was in the hospital finally got released and went home on Friday.  She has been doing fairly well ever since, although she said that last night was a little rough with a lot of coughing, some blood but mostly just gunk.  Her oxygen levels are staying good, so that part is good.  She will be back down here on Thursday for more testing, and sounds like she will be staying with me for the night, along with her husband of course.  It is just too much for them to afford the hotels down here at $100 or more a night, on top of everything else they are dealing with.  I told them I'll just give them a key and they can let themselves in and out of my place any time they need to.  They are really good people, longtime family friends, so I trust them with my key. 

I mentioned up above about bagging food packages for the homeless.  I am so glad I went to do that, and had such a great time!  My son went too, and he ended up in the garden, picking fresh vegetables and helping bag them....he also loved it.  I think that it is so important to teach kids to do community service projects and to try and help people, so I was really glad we did that.  It was good.  I'd really like to be able to do it more, but the location is about 45 minutes from my house, so quite a drive.  I have never seen anything like that on the west side of town where I live, but I will have to check further into it to see.

Knickers asked if I have ever considered being a nurse, but that answer is no.  I don't really want to be the one to administer medications and things like that.  I have never felt any kind of calling at all to be a nurse.  I like the caretaking part, but the medications and all of that just isn't my thing.  I have heard of patient care advocates in hospitals and things like that, and that seems more like my kind of thing.  Making people feel like they have a voice and facilitating them getting what they need, but not involved with administering their meds. I don't know.  I'm still working on pre reqs anyway, so I have time to research options.  I'm currently on my final college algebra class....boy will I be glad when that is done! 

It has just occurred to me that I left my phone inside, and I need to run grab it so I'll know when makenzi's mom calls to pick her up.  So, off I go!!!

This week has flown by...seems like I have only been home for about 3 minutes all week!  Each evening after work on Monday and Tuesday I went to the hospital to sit with my friend, and then tonight was church.  Tomorrow I'll go back to the hospital, and then Friday night will be packing food boxes for homeless people at a spot downtown.  It is a good thing to do and I'm very excited about it.

I have continued to have a few issues with the guy from church who tried to find my blog that one time.  I trust that he is not on here looking at it, but that still makes me mad.  Anyway, he had become quite pushy about wanting to be super involved in my life, and over the past week has just been blowing up my phone.  He has been sending a million texts, and calling, and really just going overboard with it.  I found out some things that were said at church on Sunday, and it really kind of creeped me out that he apparently took the situations that I have been dealing with and sort of inserted himself into them and then asked for a special prayer for me and things like that.  That makes me really very uncomfortable.  I appreciate the thought behind it, but the prayers that needed to be said were for the people going through the situations.  I know that I'm not explaining this right, because I sound like I am complaining that someone was praying for me, and that isn't it...I guess it is just the way that it is presented. Like I am his property or something. Either way.... it was a bit odd for sure.  So tonight I had a little chat with him and told him that I think things need to be refocused a little bit and he did seem to agree and take my point.  He said that he does feel like his focus has not been on God and he needs to get back to that, and I said that I agree.  Hopefully this will allow him to see that I'm really prioritizing things differently, and that he needs to back off.  Otherwise, this situation has the potential of becoming quite awkward.  I think the problem is that I am not wanting a relationship at all on the same level as he is, and he was just divorced six months ago and seems to actively be looking for a replacement wife, so our two issues are jiving...but at the same time he seems to be of the mind that I am the perfect solution for him.....and I'm just not so sure.  Anyway.

While I was sitting at the hospital, I had plenty of time to think, and I'd like to make some changes in the future.  I would really like to look into the possibility of moving.  I really want to move back to where I graduated from highschool.  I don't know if that is ever going to be possible, but I like to think it might be. 

I've also been thinking about my job alot.  I have gotten to the point where I have a relatively peaceful feeling most of the time at work.  I don't worry so much anymore about the office politics.  I know and understand that my boss is a psychopath some days, and I've tried to just let that go and do my work.  However, when I was at the hospital this past week, I received numerous comments that really made me think.  The whole time I was at the hospital I kept meeting people and they would talk and tell me their stories and I felt like I was in the exact right spot at the exact right now, over and over.  I had complete peace about everything that was happening, as far as talking to strangers, which I sometimes stink at, and comforting them with the right words.  I just know that God put me in that spot for a reason for those 3 solid days.  Then, after I had been thinking that over, my sister paid me one of the nicest compliments that she ever has.  She told me that she thinks I should have been a nurse.  I asked her why, and she said that she thinks I am always so comforting and calming to have around in a crisis.  I have never wanted to be a nurse and deal with the medications and things like that, but I have always really liked to feel that I am helping and taking care of someone.  Anyway, that was such a nice thing for her to say.  Then another couple told me even after that, that they feel like I would make such an excellent personal caretaker for someone because I really have a heart for it, and have such a calming influence on people around me.  I have honestly never been told things like that before, and it really made me stop to think.  I want to make sure that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, and not ignore what I am supposed to be doing just because I am afraid to change jobs, or am comfortable in my current salary bracket, etc.  It has made me reconsider what I've been doing and stop to think about maybe what changes I can make in future to refocus things for myself too.  It was all very good, very eye opening.

And that is all.  Better go to bed!

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What a week!

Thursday I took the zoo trip with my son, as planned.  We had such a great day!  I had him plus 3 other little boys in my group-and they were all really well behaved and good! One little guy had just moved here from New Jersey, and he was just the cutest kid.  He kept telling me how he likes to rap, and then he rapped for me.  He sat next to me on the bus, and talked my ear off.  He was so cute! 

Thursday night I met up with a friend from highschool.  She has a million different health problems and was going in on Friday morning to have her thyroid removed to try and improve some of her daily symptoms.  We had dinner at Applebee's and visited for a few hours before I headed home.

Friday morning I got a call at work from her husband.  She had an allergic reaction to something when they put her under for the surgery.  Her lungs completely filled up with blood in an instant and her heart stopped beating.  They worked on her for awhile and got her heart going again, and had to put her on ventilation, and all kinds of life support devices.  They said they didn't know if she would live or not.  I left work immediately and drove to the hospital to be with her husband, and that is where I've been at for the last 3 days.  I came home twice and slept for a few hours each time, and then went back.  I feel that no one should have to sit at a hospital by themselves when a loved one is sick or hurting, so I really didn't want to leave.  She has once again beaten the odds....after 3 days, she has just gotten her breathing tube removed and is breathing on her own again.  She still has bout 9 different IV bags hooked up, and oxygen to help, but the ventilator is off!!!  She is such a fighter-I've never seen anything like it.  Actually I've never seen anything like any of it.  Her husband was just about to panic and he needed to leave the room sometimes because he couldn't stand to see her in such distress... so when he would go out, I would stay with her and hold her hand and talk to her.  Her body would cough and just massive amounts of blood would come pouring out-so terrible.  I put that girl on several prayers lists, I prayed over her, everyone I could think of.  I am so proud of her for all her hard work in recovering, and although it will be slow going to get her back to where she was before this incident, the doctors have confirmed that she will definitely pull through.  The thyroid is still inside her so not sure what the plan will be for that...

It is amazing the people you meet and the stories you hear when you are at the hospital.  I'll post on the ones I can remember, and it all just goes to show....you never do know what someone else is going through at all-it could be anything and you just don't know.  I hope that I can touch the people who I do encounter and maybe make one bright spot in their day, if nothing else.  So...here are a few of the people I met....

1) Friend's mom:  I spent 4 or 5 hours sitting in the waiting area with my friend's mom.  From what I understand, she has always had an aversion to hospitals, and rarely even comes when friend is in the hospital unless there is a life threatening situation.  I have to say that this has always disgusted me somewhat...I feel like you should always be there for your child no matter what.  BUT, I sat with her and visited with her and I found some of her good qualities.  She is a very funny woman-she has a dry sense of humor and sometimes says things that are totally unexpected.  I watched TV with her and was surprised to find that her selection was Lifetime network, where we watched 2 murder shows together.  Interesting lady-she showed me how to crochet. 

2) Met a family of 4 down from Kingman.  They were an interesting bunch.  They came into the ICU waiting room for about 30 minutes-went to the snack machine, got snacks and coffee.  When their person came out of the surgery room and into the ICU, two of the family members went in and saw the person for maybe three minutes and then they all got up and left.  I can't imagine just leaving my family member alone.  They were nice enough people though.

3) Today met a man who was in and out of the room waiting and pacing. His daughter had committed suicide.  I guess they found her and thought maybe they could save her, but they couldn't, so he was literally counting down the minutes until they cut off her life support and let her go.  He was there all alone, and talked with me and my group for a long time.. just talking.  He needed to get it all out and you could tell he had no one else.  Of course, we were all fine with that, and wished we could help him... what a terrible situation.  I'll pray for that man. 

4) Met a man who has had to bring her husband in 4 or 5 times in the last six months for unexplained swelling of the tongue.  They have no idea what is causing it at all, and he remains a mystery.

Oh, one other thing about my friend.  She and her husband have been married for 15 years or so.  They are such an inspiration to me.  I have never seen two people who love each other as much as those two do.  The way that he looks at her and watches her and takes care of her is absolutely amazing to me, and when she finally opened her eyes and found his face...wow.  I just melted for them.  If a woman and man are ever lucky enough to find someone who loves them as much as those two love each other...well, what else do they need?  What a wonderful, brave couple.  Such an inspiration.

Tomorrow should be a nice day-I have the day off so I can go with my little man on his field trip.  We are going to the Wildlife World Zoo...my favorite zoo!  I am one of 6 parent chaperones.  I guess there will be 3 kids in my group, one of which is my son.  I already know one of the other little guys because he lives near here and comes over to play with my son lots of times in the evenings.  The other kid is a stranger, and my son doesn't seem to fond of him, but I'm sure it will be fun.  I am kind of relieved to have a day off.

I can't remember what I had been informed of the last time I posted, but we did find out that my grandma had another heart attack prior to being readmitted to the hospital.  She has now been transferred to a nursing home...this time permanently.  She doesn't seem to realize that it is permanent yet, but it sounds like it is.  My uncle was very sad to take her there, but she can't manage living on her own right now.  My other uncle is flying in this weekend to help settle some things and get her stuff arranged.  My mom and I are trying to make plans to go visit at some point in May.  I really want to go and see her.  I used to love hanging out with her when she still lived in Phoenix...I wish she had never moved.  I feel like she was better off out here where we could all help take care of her.  She only has my uncle and he has been less than involved in some cases.  Either way, I continue to pray that she improves and has a good quality of life.

I mentioned that I have been chatting with a friend from highschool via text and Facebook.  I feel really badly for him right now because he is at work, and he made a mistake at some point...I'm not sure when, but must have been recently, and he is in trouble.  Currently he is taking a test on the procedure which he messed up on, and has to have a big meeting with his superiors at 5:30 in the morning.  He works graveyards sometimes, so he has to do these tests for the night, and then have the meeting about half an hour before he is due to be off shift.  He is really sweating it, and I hope it goes well for him.  He has worked at the job for 5 years and does a great job, and really enjoys his work, so I hope that this can be overcome.  He said that it will most like mean disciplinary days off without pay, as well as a letter of reprimand that will remain in his file for 2 to 5 years.  People make mistakes, and he'll suffer the consequences, but what impresses me with this is that he even told me what happened.  He could have just said his work was busy so he couldn't talk, etc., but he actually told me that he is not having a good night, that he did get in trouble, and why.  That speaks of a humble personality, which I really respect.  Too bad this dude lives so far away from me... 

Took my son to a talent show at a highschool near here tonight.  It was FUN!!!  The winner was a kid who choreographed his own dance routine...he was amazing!!!!  I can't believe how he was able to move all around like he did....lots of his music was to a sped up version of the Super Mario bros music.  It was entertaining and fun...he deserved to win. 

Off to bed.

The last week just flew by!!! 

To be honest, I can't even really remember what happened in what kind of order anymore, so maybe I'll make a few bullet points to put down some of the highlights!

*  My grandma had to be readmitted to the hospital in the ICU after being at home for 4 days.  She had been released to go home by the nursing home, which a lot of us in the family thought was a bad idea.  It turned out that we were right.  She was unable to manage her medications and ended up not taking half of what she needed, or else taking the wrong dosage...I'm not sure if anyone is sure which it was at this point.  Either way, there are other issues too...just today they have finally gotten some test results back that confirm that at some point over the last few days she has had another heart attack.  Insane.  She should never have been released to go home by herself.  Her mental capacities are not good right now-she is very out of it and thinks that she owns the hospital, and that they are actually leasing space from her, and that she does not need any medications, etc.  It is a hard situation. 

*  Started the algebra class-it is going ok so far.  I'm keeping up with the homework, so that is a good thing.  I hope at some point that I can get ahead but it might not be too likely between that and everything else going on.

*  My parents visited for a day over the weekend...it was a good time.  They had my sister's kids with them and so we took all the kids to the park and out for pizza.  They left in the afternoon to go home.  It was nice.

*  Sister is in Denver right now for the final portion of her embalming program.  Then I think she'll have to do maybe one more semester of classes before she will be done.

Hmmm.  Welll, when sat down I had many more things on my mind to write about but that seems to be all that is coming to mind right now!  It was a busy day at work so maybe my brain is fried!!!!

This weekend my son was at his dad's house, but he had offered to have him spend Easter with me.  I was really excited about that because I wanted to be able to take him to church.  So, I picked him up this morning-we went to church and then came home and did his Easter basket.  I was a little let down because I had just assumed he would be spending the night with me-but that was not the case.  He ended up going back to his dad's house- I think they had something going on this afternoon.  That is fine, after all it is his time with him and I'm just glad he got to go to church with me.

So-this afternoon I spent a few hours working on my homework and I took a nap.  I also went for a walk.  I'll probably be up for half the night, between the nap and the iced tea I had earlier ...  Ooops!!!

Last night the movie Passion of the Christ was playing.  I have never watched the entire movie, but I watched the last half hour or so of it last night.  It was very hard to watch.  There is no way for us to comprehend what Jesus did for us, or what he endured.  Amazing.

Made some cookies last night-I don't think I mentioned it yesterday.  They were a white chocolate chip cookie... there was no white sugar, only brown sugar.  They taste very good.  I like cookies a little less sweet, so these were really good.  I changed a few of the ingredients but nothing that made any difference.   I used a different kind of nut, and a different type of chocolate.  Otherwise it was all the same, and it worked, so I'm happy.

Cupcake Wars is on TV right now.  I'm debating either changing the channel since I've burned myself out on this show, or else getting outside and rollerblading.  I used to go rollerblading at night all the time, but I'm not entirely familiar with this neighborhood and I don't know if I am likely to get mugged. Hmm.  I used to take my rollerblades to the park and do it there, but I don't live near that park anymore, and I don't feel like driving anywhere right now.  I don't know.  Maybe I'll go to the gym room instead.  That might be a better idea. 

I got an email from the second job early in the week, saying that we weren't going to work this weekend.  The lady needs time to catch up on her tax stuff.  Fine with me!  I rarely have a whole entire Saturday off with free time to catch up on extra stuff.  Today I am making the most of it!

I stayed up late last night reading and then texting back and forth with an old friend from highschool that I have recently gotten back in touch with.  To be honest, I have no recollection of ever talking to him in school, but he started Facebooking me awhile ago and we exchanged phone numbers.  I normally don't do that, but I have known of him and his family for about 15 years now, and he was always a very nice kid when I knew him, so I felt ok about it.  He still lives up there where we went to highschool.  He works at the power plant.  Seems like anybody that doesn't get out of there either works at the power plant or the paper mill.

This morning I slept in until about 8:00.  Then I got up and went hiking!  That felt so good=I haven't been to that particular hill in about a year.  I can feel it in my thighs and butt, so I guess that means I did some good!

After the hike, went to my old house and pulled weeds for about an hour.  I got the most of them, so felt really good about that.  I also got a bunch of thorns in my fingers and sneezed approximately 300 times.  Hahaha.

Then I came home.  I've done 3 loads of laundry so far, and then logged on to my school class and did the first assignment and one section of the homework.  That is pretty good, considering the class doesn't officially start until the 9th.  I feel good about that.   I had also been living with the fear that I had accidentally signed up for the Speed Course, which takes 4 weeks off the time allowed for completion.  I did that last time and barely pulled it off, and this is a much harder class (math-my worst subject), so I definitely didn't want to do it again.  Today I was able to confirm that it is the regular term.  whew!

Probably I need to go to the grocery store later today.  I need to make a list first, I suppose.  A dreaded task.  Oh, also... I got my hair cut off last night.  No more ponytails for me.  And I have blonde highlights.   I like it..it is easy to maintain and to style.  Yay!

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I had a whole bunch of mail at T's house.  He brought it to me tonight and stayed for awhile.  I made BLT's and then we went for a walk.  I miss him.  I cried when he left.  After he got out of the parking lot of course, but still.. I cried all the same.  It makes me sad that we aren't together anymore because we get along so well and there are so many things that are really good and right.  The problem is all the things that just aren't.  I wish that things could be different.  Sometimes I want to call him and just ask him why we can't work things out.  Why he can't be more interested or involved in the things that are so important to me, and tell him that I'll give in on some things that he wants me to shutup about.  But then...what would be the point?  Things weren't happening before that made either of us happy-we couldn't go through with getting married then...why would that be different now when neither of us has really changed?  It is a tough situation.  Most the time I'm fine, but sometimes I just wonder. 

I am totally loving the last Stephanie Plum, which I am currently reading.  It is Explosive Eighteen.  Love it.  I'm going to finish it tonight and then take it to work to loan to my friend.  She has listened to all the others on CD from the library going to & from work.  Since this current one isn't available, she is going to read it manually. hahah.

The last time I wrote was March 29th.  I believe that was Thursday or so last week.  So-I'll try to do a rundown from that point to now!

Friday night I went to my sister's house.  We had a great time.  We worked on the wax head which she is creating for one of the last sections of her embalming class.  It was a lot of fun, although I'm not sure it is really turning out to look a lot like my brother-in-law, and that is the end goal.  I'm sure she'll get there eventually.  We worked on it for a few hours before we went to bed Friday night.

Saturday morning we got up really early and she had a spectacularly NONproductive yard sale.  She made about $11.  Everything that was left was donated to the Goodwill store close to her house.  We were tired after her yard sale and so then we both sad on the couch and then fell asleep for an hour or so.  The kids all played together and had a good time.  I was really happy that I went.

Sunday morning I was up early because I had to go to set up the shoebox collection table for church, prior to the morning service.  Then I was there for like an hour after service because last week I was asked to serve at church as a new nursery coordinator.  I agreed, so that is my new duty at church, but I had to go meet with them to find out what all they want me to do and everything that is involved.  It took a longer time meeting with the church secretary than I thought it would, but no problem...it was good. 

Today and yesterday were fine at work.  No problems... busy.

Sunday I made a lemon cake for the new recipe of the week.  It turned out good=very lemony.  I took some to my ex sister in law and she fed it to her little girl... which is cute because she is only a year old and no one really expected her to like the cake.  It is very tangy. 

Off I go. 

Ok!!! ALSO!!!! There was a comment on one of my posts where one of you have asked for a recipe.... I cannot find that comment!!!  Which recipe was it on??

Today I was thinking of the little things in life that make me happy-or make me smile.  Here is a good one, even if it is silly.  I always smile to myself when I am the first person to use the restroom at work, because our cleaning company folds the ends of the toilet paper into little triangles when she cleans each night.  It makes me very happy to be the one who gets to pull on the triangle.  Like I said....it's the little things...