Saturday we took my grandma to get a pedicure done.  She has been getting them for years because she has such a hard time with her feet since developing diabetes.  The lady who does her feet is very nice and she has gotten to be really close to my grandma over the past several years, so they were glad to see each other.  Then we just did more sorting of her things, and hung around her house. 

Sunday was more sorting-more of the same.  There was a bit of a scary episode in the evening because her blood sugar went scarily low.  She was unable to function enough to take the sugar level or to draw up the insulin.  We had some orange juice so we gave her a cup of that and then administered everything for her.  That was sad because it just kind of reaffirmed to her and everyone else that she can't manage at home.  There were several other times when if we hadn't been there, she would have given herself the wrong medicine altogether, or else the wrong dose.  It was sad.

Monday she had an appointment with her attorney to make some changes to her will.  After that my mom and I drove her back to the nursing home on our way to the airport.  Talk about heartbreaking-that was possibly one of the saddest things I've ever done.  I felt like I was leaving someone in prison.  She was crying, we were crying, it was sad sad.  I don't even know what else to say about it. 

Then-we came home.  Here we are. 

Friday morning when we got up, we helped grandma with her medicine and had a little breakfast.  Around lunch time we loaded into the rental car and drove over to see her nursing home.  My mom and I had not been to see this one, and wanted to get a feel for where she was staying.  I guess I don't really know what to say about it.  The outside was very nice-bright and cheery with lost of garden and courtyard areas for the residents to be able to sit outside.  The inside was clean, and the staff was very friendly.  Lots of the residents had lots of decorations hanging from their walls and had their rooms decorated nicely.  There are two patients to a room, and the rooms are split down the middle with a hanging curtain, just like in a hospital room.  My grandma's side was.... depressing.  Up until just recently, she had been unwilling to accept that she might not be able to go home for awhile, if at all, and so she had refused to allow any pictures or any personal effects to be added to her room.  So it just sort of looks sad and depressing, and reminded me of a jail cell.  Of course, as with most nursing homes, there were some patients sitting around in their wheelchairs, unable to really communicate or anything, and when passing by a couple of the rooms, I could smell the scent of urine.  Overall, though, it wasn't bad, and I did like the staff.  The nurses seemed really very friendly, and they seem to get quite personal with the residents, which is nice.  My grandma took her little dog when we went to visit, and all the staff knew the dog's name, even though she hadn't been there before, so I assume that she talks about the dog frequently-and they did remember that, so that was nice.

After that we drove through a neighboring town just to sight see, and then returned home.  That was more than enough of an outing for grandma, so she took a nap. Actually, I took a nap too, and my mom read her book. 

That evening we just stayed in and had a pizza for dinner, and visited until later into the night.  We sorted through a handful of things that my grandma was wanting to sort out. That was sad and brought up a lot of memories and a lot of story telling was done.

Had a hard time falling asleep that night, so I read my book later into the night, and finally fell asleep.  I finished the Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.  I didn't really like it very much.

Hmm...think that was all for day 2.

Well, got back into town yesterday evening...it was a pretty eventful trip and it left me with a lot of thoughts, so I might make two or three posts instead of just one, so that I can make sure to get everything down.  I might as well start now!

Thursday I worked until noon.  I got off work and came here, where my mom was waiting for me.  I was a little troubled because my cat had apparently decided to pout about something, and my house smelled like cat urine when I got home.  It was really nasty-but I didn't have time to figure out exactly what the problem was, or where exactly the problem was coming from, although I could tell she had peed somewhere in the living room, near the door.  But again, unfortunately,  I didn't have time to really dig into the problem, because we had to leave and catch our flight to Missouri.

We didn't have any trouble getting through security.  I thought it was quite funny when a young man, probably a little younger than I am, decided to kind of push his way through to the front of the line and demand to know if there was a "government line".  The security guard looked at him like he had lost his mind, and told him no, and to go to the back of the line.  It was very funny.  The guy wasn't in any kind of uniform, and his hair was completely unkempt...he looked more like a hippy than a government official, but he seemed positive that he would get to cut to the front of the line.  The security guard was quite funny about the whole thing.  Anyhow, we made it through security without incident, and were about an hour and a half early for our flight.  We had dinner there in the terminal at a mexican food place. It was good, but super duper expensive. 

We arrived in Kansas City at about 8:00 pm, Missouri time.  We had reserved a rental car, so picked that up and headed for my grandma's house.  My uncle had signed her out of the nursing home prior to our arrival, so they were waiting there when we got to her house.  There was a bit of incident in checking her out because her blood sugar had gone WAY high, scarily high, up into the 660's.  They didn't want her to check out of the home, but she insisted, and since she was still functional, they let her go.  So that had happened, but by the time we got there she was checking her sugar again for her night time insulin, and it had come down fairly nicely.  We visited for an hour or so before my uncle left, and then we all went to bed.  My grandma looked ok, just very much older, and also somehow...shrunken.  She looks so feeble, even though she is a bigger lady.  Her hair is almost completely gone-there really isn't much left at all.  It was wonderful to see her.  She can't get in and out of bed very easily at all, and in fact had fallen from her bed a few times prior to going into the nursing home, so she preferred to sleep in her recliner chair, so my mom and I each took one of the bedrooms.  I felt badly about that, but she insisted, and I do know for sure that she really had fallen several times, so we didn't argue too much with her about it.  Her little dog was super happy to see her, and my grandma wanted the dog to sleep on her lap all night.  Little dog was only too happy to oblige! The two were inseparable all weekend, and I got a really good picture of my grandma with the dog sitting on her lap.  I am going to frame that one, and I'll send her a copy too.

Ok, that is it for tonight, time for me to go to bed!

Today was a decent Monday!  Today was my boss's last day of vacation, so she'll be back in the office tomorow and that is a drag.  The atmosphere at the office is so much better when she is gone, and people are so much more productive because she isn't breathing like a dragon down their back.  

The hummus turned out pretty good, although my blender is a goner!  I had an old one, and then a new one...and the old one ended up smoking and stinking and pooping out at the end.  The hummus is good, although I think I'll play with some spices and see what I end up liking best.  It made a really big batch so I have lots that I can divide and try to do something else with.  A friend of mine put hummus on his cheeseburger once...I copied his idea and it actually tasted very good.  This was the first time I've ever used sesame tahini in anything I made...that is a slimy ingredient.

I was watching America's Got Talent-Nick Cannon seems like such a nice person.  I've been reading that he has some health problems going on, and he does look a little tired, and sort of puffy, somehow, but he has a really sweet smile.

Thursday is the day that my mom and I fly back to Missouri to see my grandma. I am really looking forward to spending time with her.  She sounds really good on the phone lately, and she has been doing better.  We are going to sign her out of the nursing home while we are there and she will be able to stay with us at her house.  The doctors have told her she shouldn't try to live on her own anymore but since we will be there, it is ok to have her out with us.  I feel badly for her, because I know her heart is heavy at the thought of living in a home permanently, but she seems to be more accepting of the idea today after seeing her endocrinologist today than she has in the past, so perhaps that doctor did a better job of explaining things to her. 

I passed the midterm!!!! yahoo!!!! I got a 73%, which is only a C, but I don't even care.  If it hadn't been multiple choice, I would have just had to put my pencil down and walk away, because I didn't even have a clue on a lot of those questions.  I used the answer choices I was given, plugged them into the question until I got something that seemed to match.  What a mess.  But-only 3 more chapters and a final to go and I'm golden!!!!

I just got home from the store-a late night trip, but I wanted to get it done before Sunday so I don't have to worry about anything tomorrow.  I saw some of the most interesting shoppers there this evening.  LOTS of single guys there.  Some of them had clearly been sent by the wife, because they had a list in hand, and the items in the cart were not single guy items.  One guy was there with his kids...I get the feeling it was dad's weekend in a divorce situation.  The kids were happy and having a good time, and I enjoyed running into them several times throughout the store.  Also met a lady who was poking around the store and her and I both joked about our exciting Saturday night...she said that her sister was watching her little girl so she was making the most of her shopping trip! She was funny.  I also saw a couple there who did nothing but snap at each other over every single item they stopped to pick out.  Thank goodness I only ran into them a couple of times...they were dragging down my shopping mood!! hahah

Tomorrow I am going to make hummus for the recipe of the week.  I love hummus but I've never made it homemade, so we'll hope for the best!!!!

I hope everyone has had a lovely Saturday!

I hope that everyone has had a good Memorial Day and weekend!

We went up north to where I graduated highschool from, and stayed with some friends for a couple days.  That was a good time-nice to get out of the city for awhile.

Today my son and I slept in until about 8:00, and then went to my friend's house around noon for lunch and swimming.  It was nice of her to invite us over-we had BBQ sandwiches, potato salad, chips, and watermelon.  Then we swam for about an hour. 

When we left there, I had to send my son over to his dad's house-so I came home and have been cleaning cleaning cleaning ever since.  I have gotten a lot of stuff organized, but it still sort of looks like a hurricane went through my house.  I am just so cluttered sometimes.  However, I have become more motivated to get things organized (this happens to me occasionally, hahaha) so we'll see how it goes!

Still struggling through the math class- I have to take my midterm on Thursday!  Fingers crossed that this goes well

I can't believe it has been such a long time since my last post here!

I've been buried in my algebra book in my spare time lately.  I am almost halfway through with the class, and the end can't come soon enough.  What a mess...this has been so hard to keep up with on top of my regular jobs, my family, and my commitments at church.  BUT, so far I have a 77% in the class, and as long as I pass I'm good.  In highschool I never even had a B...I was a straight A student, but with this course, I just want to pass-I don't even care what the grade is as long as I pass!!!   Hahaha

Went to the water park last weekend with my son-I bought season passes for the two of us so that we'll always have something fun to do and won't have to spend a ton of money.  It was a really good deal to buy for the season pass instead of one ticket here and there.

Hmmm...I don't know what else. Oh, I have tried some really good new recipes of the week-but I'll have to post them later---gotta get back at it!!!

There are lots of things on my mind that I'd like to post about today.  We'll see how many I actually get through!  I think I'll just list them in paragraph form, with no real order of any sort-I'll just ramble through the different topics.

Ok-one thing that I was thinking about over the weekend are just differences in people.  My grandma used to tell me that it takes all kinds of make the world go round. That is something she said to me on more than one occasion and I've always remembered it.  She is right-and it goes right down to the smallest little things.  I was noticing differences in my family this weekend-differences that can be endearing, annoying, and just .. ok.  I noticed where I like a little less ketchup on my meatloaf than my dad does.  My mom prefers to cut her fruit up, and the rest of us just ate it like an apple (she ended up the cleanest!).  My son is fascinated by watching Pawn Stars and Storage Wars, because he likes to look at antiques, while my nephew prefers to watch movies that create a story for him.  My dad loves his dogs and my mom loves her cats.  On and on, and it is ok.  We learn to accept the differences, and love each other through them.

My mom and I purchased our plane tickets to go see my grandma the second weekend in June.  We will be there for four days.  I am excited to go and see her.  I will also get to see my uncle and will finally meet his wife and kids in person.  Up to now I've only met them via Facebook.  I told my grandma that we purchased the tickets today when I called to wish her happy Mother's Day.  She sounded very happy to know that we are coming, although there is always a chance she'll forget it tomorrow.  She was happy because today my uncle signed her out of the nursing home and took her to lunch for Mother's Day.  I bet that was a nice break for her to get out of there. 

During the last week, I've had a few bad dreams.  One-someone was trying to kill me.  At first he was trying to kill me with a butcher knife, but then the knife morphed into a gun.  I knew he was going to kill me, but he didn't know I knew, and so I kept trying to keep him talking on the off chance that he would decide he shouldn't kill me after all.  That worked for a little while, and then all the sudden he decided to go ahead and kill me, and then I went running and screaming like a maniac and ended up waking myself up.  Last night I dreamed that the nursing home lost my grandma. There were several staff members and myself looking for her and when we found her she was sitting at the table in the cafeteria eating a piece of pizza and crying because she said that she felt like she was in an orphanage and they made her eat even if she didn't want to.  It was very sad and left me feeling slightly disturbed. 

My son got to ride a horse for the first time this weekend!!!  That was very exciting!  My dad recently bought a new horse that is actually kid friendly, as opposed to his last handful of horses, which I wouldn't have wanted to get on myself, let alone put my son on.  This one is a really sweet mare and was used as a therapy horse, so she is very patient and good.  So he got to ride her and he did such a great job! I was very proud of him.  He rode for quite a while and then I rode, and of course my dad rode. My mom thinks my dad will start looking for a second horse now because then he can continue teaching my son and also then he and I can go riding together like we used to do.  It should be good.

One unexpected event: tonight T came by.   He wanted to see G, because he really hasn't in awhile.  That is completely fine with me, so he came by on his way home from a side job, and I suggested we go swimming.  It was very hot outside and that is a good way to cool off.  So-we did that, and then everyone came back inside to change.  He took me aside and asked me if he can come over tomorrow night and take me to dinner. He said he misses me, and he loves me.  I told him that I miss him too, but we still don't have the answers to any of our problems at all.  He agreed, but wanted to know if I would go anyway so that we could talk.  So, I said ok.  I don't know what will come of it, but I guess it can't hurt to talk to him.  We'll see.  I guess I kind of don't see the point because nothing has really changed, but the truth is that I do miss him, and I'd like to at least see what he has to say.

A final thought:  I was thinking about relationships with different people over the past several days.  I have been asking God to show me what I should be watching for in different people, and then what I should be doing to help people more, etc.  The thing that I've had put on my mind is that I need to be watching for the things people do and be thankful for them.  I think that sometimes I am guilty of becoming annoyed with people when I need to look behind their actions to what drives them in the first place.  Some of my coworkers have been about to drive me nuts lately with stupid, stupid questions, but the truth is...they are just trying to help.  They seek approval so much and that is really what they are doing...they are not and would not ever try to annoy anyone or ask silly questions on purpose...and I need to be more patient with that, and watch my own temper (even if I do just say things in my head, lol).  Anyway-of course there is more to that line of thought, but I have to get my little man to bed.

Good night!

Today was a good day, but I think I was just in a weird mood for some reason-so I'm not sure if I should say it is a good day or bad day   I'll go with good!!!

I went to church this morning-the Bible study class was not up to par.  The idea behind it was good-which was out of Deuteronomy, but the leader for the week allowed the conversation and comments to kind of take over the whole thing, and we ended up not reading any actual Bible verses until the end.  The conversation got sort of sidelined onto a parenting type of conversation, which could potentially be very good, but kind of made me frustrated by the end.  I have a very hard time sitting there listening to people offer suggestions or talk about things they do as a parent when I know for an absolute fact that they are not practicing what they preach AT ALL.  There was someone in there who said that while they understand that they are a controlling person by nature that they do allow their children to have lots of freedoms....and I know that to be absolutely untrue.  I couldn't believe my ears when I heard it.  There were many cases like that, and it was just difficult to swallow some of it.

Afterwards I watched my friends little boy for a couple of hours because she had a meeting of some sort at church to attend.  I had lunch with him and then we came back here and took a nap for an hour or two.  He is 2 years old and I love him.  He makes me laugh and he is so good.  He is not so good for his own mom, but I suppose that is generally how it goes.  I think because she is a single mom that she gets very stressed out with him and he feeds off of that and ends up having more of a temper tantrum problem than he might normally.  But she tries her best to be a good mom, and he is a good boy, so it will all work out.  They will be ok.

Then I went over and met T for dinner and to pick up my mail again.  It was a lot of fun! His birthday was yesterday so I treated him to dinner at an Italian place that we both like, and we visited for a couple hours. 

And now here I am. I made the recipe of the week : cornmeal pancakes.  2 out of 10 maybe.  They are not great.  Also did some algebra homework and now just kind of chilling out waiting till I get tired.  I am folding laundry in between things, and am going to read my book in awhile-still on the same one Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. 

1)  I am trying another cat litter combination tonight.  I mixed half scoopable with half regular.  I am hoping that by having the mix, I can still scoop it, but by having some regular, it might not stick to their feet so much when they are getting out of the litter box.  If it works, perhaps I'll market it and become a millionaire!!!

2)  Grandma had to be taken by ambulance again this morning.  She was discovered in the room of her nursing home, completely unresponsive.  She had a blood sugar level of 38.  They thought she had possibly had another heart attack, or perhaps a stroke, but so far that has not proven accurate.  Nothing else is obviously wrong, but they have no idea what happened or why her sugar would have gotten that out of whack that quickly, when all along it had been going good earlier in the day.  She had taken her insulin, had her meal, etc.  She is still in the hospital undergoing testing.  She did regain consciousness, and is stable right now.  I had talked with her for the last 3 days in a row, and she had been doing really well, so this is quite discouraging. Poor thing.

3)  Reading Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (still) and would not recommend it.  It just isn't as good as it was made out to be, and I can't believe there is a movie about it.

4) The recipe of the week:  BJ's Country Cornbread.  ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE!!!! 0 out of 10 stars.  Tastes like eating a bowlful of sand.  Seriously.  Cannot imagine what the heck someone was thinking when they put it in a cookbook.  It will all have to be thrown out, but I feel bad wasting it so it is just sitting sadly on the counter right now until I give up and toss it.