Month: January 2014

  • Parenting

    What do you do with a 9 year old who is a terrible sore loser?

    I’ve been having a struggle with my son in that area lately.   He likes to play games but he wants to win them all and he gets really rather ugly about it when he doesn’t.  I’ve talked to him until I’m blue in the face, tried various punishments, etc.  Today there was sort of a big blow up at the end of the day because we went to watch some kids from church while their parents went out.  They came home and just before we left, my son and their son got into some sort of disagreement related to a video game.  It ended with the other little boy calling me crying on the phone after we left, because he was sure that my son didn’t want to be his friend anymore.  That wasn’t the case at all, my son had just (unbeknownst to me) gotten on the losing end of a game and said something mean before quitting the game.  Anyway, it worked out with the two of them, but I sat my son down and had a LONG talk with him about this problem.   I told him that he will be the kid who no one invites to play soon, because no one wants to keep playing games with a mean person who can’t ever lose a game, or who gets mad when he does lose.  We talked about it for a long time and he did a lot of crying.  I think he actually listened for once.  I think it shocked him when his friend called him and was crying over something that meant so little to my son.  I don’t think he realized how much it impacts other people, even though I’ve told him so many times.

    So maybe this was a good lesson for him, and maybe it will be a sticking memory and point for him where he can realize that it does bother other people and not just him being angry when he acts like that.

    Has anyone else dealt with this ?  What did you do to help it?  I don’t want to have that bad mean child that no one likes, and I want to teach him how to be a good friend.  He is an only child, but when he was little, we did not let him win all the games.  It seems to be built in to his personality-all of his teachers have said at ALL the parent teacher conferences that he is so competitive and that he gets very upset with himself if he is not the best…right up from kindergarten until now.  I want him to feel good about being successful but I don’t want his whole attitude and mood and life to depend on winning all of the things.  It is definitely a challenge for me as a parent…how to help him with this struggle.  What is the best way?

  • Being Engaged

    I guess I forgot that when I got engaged, I was working under the impression that I might not be able to use Xanga anymore, so I had stopped posting as much.

    I got engaged on October 7, 2013.  I am engaged to a man that I met at church.  He is wonderful.  He and my son get along very well and everyone is happy.  My son was very excited about our getting married and he was quite interested right away in the possibility of a purple tux (that was a NO!!).  He makes very cute references to the the day when pastor “marries us”..in reference to himself, J, and I.  I think that is so cute and I like that he is excited about it and excited that we will be married.

    Anyhow, that is obviously the quick version of meeting, getting to know, and subsequently getting engaged to someone.

    Today we went and ordered the tuxes for the wedding, and also ordered the cake.  The cake is going to be lemon with raspberry filling.  I was in quite a panic earlier in the week because nothing was really done for the wedding, and so I sort of wanted a lot to happen today, and I am happy that it did!

    I miss the Xanga feature that would allow me to search for and insert a small picture of the book that I am currently reading.  But look, I’ve managed to figure out how to do it myself!  The book I’m reading, shown below, is called Behaving Like Adults, and is written by Anna Maxted.  I like the book-it is a bit depressing, but also with enough humor mixed in that I am maintaining full level of interest and entertainment while dealing with the grown up issues in the story.

    Ok, off I go!!!

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