June 22, 2013
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From the time when I was pregnant and I thought about having a baby and then raising that child into adulthood, I have thought that the ages from 9 to 11 would be the hardest for me. I was right!
My son is 9 now and we are butting heads like never before. We still get along fairly well and compared to some of my friends and coworkers, I know I have it easy. For myself and my son, though, this time is a challenge. I never went through the terrible two’s with him, or any of those other “stages” that people often refer to in horror. He has always been my little buddy. Times have changed! He is quick to challenge me now, and I can tell that he gets frustrated and bored with me because I don’t have as many things in common with him. He wants to spend more and more time with his dad, which I know is good and natural, as he develops more masculine interests, but it is hard for me. Particularly since his dad and I are divorced, it tends to strike my heart more than it might otherwise. I am glad they have a good relationship, but some days I feel like he is slipping away from me at a rapid pace and sometimes I feel pretty helpless about it.
How do you connect with your 9 year old?
Comments (4)
It’s been a very long time since my son was 9 years old. I think it is natural that he wants to spend more time with his father. He is watching and learning how to be a “man”. He is entering puberty and will need his father to get through those strange emotions and feelings. It’s really good that he is venturing out into the world. I hope his father is a good influence on him.
If you have some common interests with your son like reading or movies or cooking; use those to have good times with him. Maybe you can come up with a hobby that both of you could enjoy. My son was usually happy to play by himself and he had my love of reading. However, when he got to be a teen and was more interested in girls; we have some good talks together. You will always be his mom….and he will come back to you.
My youngest son was always his father’s child. I homeschooled him (not the older two) but nights and weekends he was always his father’s shadow. It was somewhat difficult with Josh as he had hypothyroidism which went undiagnosed from age 6-9; but still he was Will’s shadow.
I will tell you that he needs his dad if he is a good role model, to learn to be male but he will never ever not need his mother and when he is older he will be your buddy again. Maybe not like when he was little but once he gains his “manliness” he will come back.
Don’t remember when Elita was 9 but we just did the best job we could as parents.